I’m feeling a little out of the loop. Yeah I fucked two guys but I still would like to fuck my neighbor next to me but he seems so aloof. I hear guys from the dungeon and by the pool having a good time and I just don’t seem to be as in the loop as last year.
I feel like I want to be sexual.
Sexuality is all around me but I’m not involved. I decide that since I don’t have anyone else to play with, I will play with myself.
I strip down naked in my tent.
The fan is blowing, gently tickling my thighs and blowing my taint. I begin to open my legs and touch myself. It is warm enough to unzip so that I can get a breeze through the mesh windows. Also there is a part of me that wants the windows open so that I can see out and others can see in. I'm not much of an exhibitionist but the vibe is totally there tonight.
I take out a brand new device I recently purchased.
It is a unique device that you put your penis inside. It has many modes and it has a suction that feels okay at first. There is even a tongue in the center that you can activate to move while it sucks. It is not bad but it is in no way like a real mouth.
Either I am not quite sure how to use this thing or the suction is really clamping down on me. I literally have to struggle to get this damn thing of me!
After a few attempts I realize this thing has nothing on me using my own hands to pleasure myself.
Here I am in this tent, by myself, stroking my dick with my legs open.
I open my legs as wide as I can. I spit on my fingers and get them nice and sloppy. I use some of the spit to lube my hole. I begin to go inside my hole and fuck myself as I masturbate.
I want to go deeper so I get the lube out and lube my fingers, my hole and my dick. Between pumping and finger fucking, I send myself into total bliss. With the grand finale combination of finger fucking and stroking, I gush my jizz all over my crotch. As I come down from the stimulation, I rub my semen all over my belly.
I lay there for a while just gazing at the dark sky from the tent window. The cool breeze caresses my body as my semen starts to dry on my skin. I wipe off and go towards a secluded area that has a sling and find a guy I've been wanting to fuck getting railed. I stand and watch and listen from a distance.
I'm hoping to get a piece when the other guy is done but the bottom is done as well.
It's about 2:00am and I am ready to call it a wrap.
One thing I learned about this whole Gear Up Weekend event is, I do much better when I am in my own personal erotic space and when I am not lusting after guys that are unavailable.
I also learn that in my self pleasure I can be as free as I want to be with how freaky I get without judgment. And my focus is on pleasuring myself and making sure my wants and needs are met sexually. And most of all I don't have the performance anxiety I get when I am expected to deliver the goods. Usually during these hot days camping I'm more prone to over heating. When it is just me, I don't have to worry about getting it up or keeping it up if I lose my erection. I have no one I striving to please so there is little to no pressure.
Does this make me a solo-sexual?
As much as I love fucking, I doubt it. But I understand how to tap into my own resources and know I don't need to rely on the body of another to get me "there."
I suspect we all have those times when we are surrounded by people but still feel completely out of the loop. I certainly do. There just doesn't seem to be any chemistry or connection and we just feel like an outsider looking in. It's a very disconcerting situation to be in and just makes you want to withdraw completely. There was a time in my life when I was unable to get out at all and I relied entirely on solo sex to keep my sanity. It's certainly not what I preferred but it sustained me. As you mentioned it can be a much more relaxed experience in that there is no pressure to perform, and every aspect is under your own wants and desires. You can explore every fantasy scenario imaginable only limited by what your brain can contrive. As far as pure sex it can be an incredibly rewarding experience. But I learned over the years that nothing can truly be a substitute to that physical interaction with a real person. It's not really the sex as much as the need to touch and be touched. To hold and be held. That's what is missing with solo sex and what makes the real world interactions imperative to any true lasting satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteEverything you said! 🔥
DeleteAnd I do understand what you mean as far as feeling the touch of another and to be held by another is something that you just don't get from solo sex.
I believe for me however: because my personality type is by nature very much introverted, I have more of an inclination or maybe a better phrase is, if I was only able to gratify myself and not have sex with others, I believe I would be okay with that. Not that it would be my favorite choice because I love sex with men. I just believe that it wouldn't be as much of an issue. Okay. I probably will write a post on this because There is so much I would like to add that will probably be long enough for a post. LOL
Thank you for your continued support and love.
I appreciate the hell out of you. 🤗
My takeaway from your response is striking. We all see ourselves in a certain way, something that's we've cultivated for years and how we identify. But others might see us quite differently. I for one see you as quite a dominant personality not introverted at all. But what we project and who we really are can be in stark contrast. Our innate sense of who we are is entirely subjective. It's difficult to discern where the reality truly resides. We are all such unique complex beings.
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